from a reader
Dear Savagenyc:
It is socially permissible, this Halloween season, to also dress my dog, Luxury Finder, in a sexually provocative, miniaturized version of the same rented costume I will wear, so that we'll 'match' at Outback Steakhouse's Annual Dumb n' Dumberer Halloween BeerBlast XXV?
There's supposed to be, like, a lot of guys from Financial Services who're are gonna, like, be there this year and I want to look cute and fun, but not, like, ugly.
Please let me know, ASAP
Love,
Chagrinned Health Aide Efforting Luxury Seaside Edifice Asap
Savagenyc Replies
Dear Chaelsea:
Yes, by all means, rent or own your sexy Halloween costume (probably just owning one would be the best bet, yes? Don't rent one) and go ahead and get one for your little dog, too. I guess.
But Raggedy Ann?
Dressing yourself and your Chiuaua, Luxury Finder, as matching Raggedy Anns seems a troubling costume choice, not only connoting daddy issues, but conjuring up a bevy of unpleasant intimations, for the target of your attentions, especially as your Chiuaua will be dressed in the same provocative, but miniaturized, costume.
Why don't you and Luxury Finder find a way to stay sexy, but throw some 'curves' into the mix?
Most drunk frat boys and Financial Services Department employees love nothing more than a little 'mystery' on Halloween, and you might be surprised how many of those keg-chugging Dockers (TM)-clad Revenue Analysts will be more than intrigued at the hint of a girl (and/or a Chihuahua)with 'something extra'.
Maybe, with the help of some, er, extra stuffing, you and Luxury Finder could pull off the Betty Boop Baffler, for instance?
however, CHAELSEA, you may want to reconsider your canine choice. I know small breeds are easier to dress in miniaturized slutwear, but most males I've encountered absolutely detest lapdogs, and this litte known fact could seriously inconvenience your quest for that luxury seaside edifice, courtesy the Dockers-clad Financial Services Analyst.
It's no small secret that most guys, hell, most human beings, hate small dogs, and even use them sometimes to make money in sporting ventures which don't bode well for the animals, even Chiahuahuas.
Nonetheless, Happy Hunting!
